Wandering Fel

Showing posts with label Slice of Life. Show all posts

What It’s Like to Eat Alone in Singapore?

Being a natural born introvert, I have no issue eating by myself. But I admit sometimes I can get a bit bothered about my surrounding when I eat alone. I suppose introverts can be sensitive at times. But during normal days, I try to allocate a lunch-time-me-time where I can enjoy eating with myself. But so far, how’s the experience of eating alone going in Singapore?

1. Location matters

If you are eating alone in fast food restaurants/ food court/ hawker centre setting, you will not stand out so much because hey, other people do the same. However, in the food court/ hawker centre, you’ll bound to share table with stranger but no fret, strangers in Singapore don’t really initiate conversation. Unless you are unlucky and ended up sharing table with I dunno, friendly Australian or chatty American, maybe? But chances, you will sit together with random Asian aunty/uncle/girl/guy who is also a solo diner in food court/ hawker and they usually don’t talk.

However, if you choose, let’s say Chinese restaurant like Putien or Crystal Jade to eat alone, you are bound to stand out and probably invite a bit of attention from the other tables. But stare can’t kill so if you have a kick-ass don’t care attitude, you’re good to go anywhere. However, it’s hard to eat in peace in a restaurant which is catered for family dining. The portion can be too big for one as well. This is also applicable to Korean BBQ place.

2. Timing matters

I find Sunday to be the worst day of the week to date myself. This is because there are limited places for people in Singapore to spend their weekend so every shopping malls/ cafes in town are bound to be crowded on Sunday. I figure the best mall for Sunday escapade is gotta be Millenia Walk. Orchard? Vivo City? Jurong? Tampines? Oh boy, let’s stay clear from this place on Sunday, shall we?

In addition, if you come to have your own me-time at a certain restaurant/ cafe during their peak lunch/ tea time/ dinner time, it will be challenging to find seat, let alone a cozy corner. So yeah, time your visit carefully.

3. Props help

Your beloved gadget such as smartphone or ipad will be your best dining companion when your experience starts getting awkward or uncomfortable. Modern society tend to get self-absorbed in their devices so it’s definitely acceptable by society to check your phone while waiting for the food to come. After all, people who don’t eat alone also do that on a regular basis. Otherwise, you can also bring book/ kindle. It’s totally gonna boost your sophisticated look.

Don’t forget to bring your tissue pack or umbrella if you are going to eat alone at hawker centre in Central Business District area such as Raffles Place or Tanjong Pagar. This is because you will need those two things to chope/ reserve a seat in the bustling hawker centre.

What it’s really like to work contract job in Singapore?

Contract job, ah, I’ve never really thought of one until the time suddenly comes when I sign up as contractor in one of the MNCs in Singapore. Since contract jobs are usually advertised by recruitment agency, I kinda had my doubt during the hiring stage simply because I have never go through any recruitment process via recruitment agency before. Plus, I heard that some recruitment agencies can be all talks and empty promises so it’s better to read your contract twice or even thrice to make sure it covers all your risks and benefits.

To cut story short, I signed up for a 6 months contract job and currently halfway throughout my contract. Although I don’t think doing contract jobs for 3 months qualify me to share my experience but I figure I’ll just share it anyway. Do bear in mind that everyone’s experience may differ from one to another depending on the nature of the job, the culture of the workplace and of course, the people you are working with. So these are a few “discoveries” that I found out during my three months at my contract job:

1. It has start and end date

The end date kinda makes me feel that I should enjoy my working life day by day because you know it may end/ ends. I guess this is the feeling of someone who has been declared only have a few months of living by the doctor. Oh gosh, live your life like it’s your last day, people. Dark analogy aside, contract jobs generally last from 6 months to one year because the need of contractor usually arises due to a permanent staff going for long leave (such as maternity/ recovering from critical illness) or a one-off project which require more manpower. So yeah, although it’s not wrong to have hope and expectation, but I feel that I should always bear in mind that this contract may end...

2. But that doesn’t mean you can just slack

...because words travel. Even though you probably only work at that company for a brief moment, your work ethic and the way you treat your colleague will linger with them for a while (especially if you are extremely good/ lousy). If the nature of your contract job is kinda niche, you may even be more careful in how you behave because well (1) Singapore is small and (2) people bound to know each other even without being in the same industry. Sometimes I wonder if I need to exile myself for a few years to start afresh in Singapore but then again, I don’t think I have criminal record or something which require me to go “into-the-wild”. Plus going into the wild costs $$$, and hence the need to work and voila, we are back to square 1. Ok, just behave. Really.

3. Don’t over-behave though

The need to impress is definitely there especially when conversion/ extension is at stake but eventually, your skill is not the only factor the company will consider upon converting/ extending. The utmost important holy grail of their decision is definitely pointing all the way to the dreadful word of “BUDGET”. Maybe I should start praying for the company to make a lot of money and allocate additional headcount to hire me. Amen.

4. You are technically not the company’s staff

Although this may differ from case to case, but generally a contractor is contracted by the recruitment agency and then “seconded” to the company. So don’t be surprised if your annual leave is only 6 days for 6 months contract and 12 days for 1 year contract. And you won’t be entitled to staff benefit from that company as well. So yeah, prepare your heart not to be jealous, ok.

5. People tend to be nice/ ignorant of you

The good news about being a contractor is at least you won’t get involved in some kind of Game-of-Thrones political story. After all, you have no power to be in some use/ threat to the permanent staff. In my previous workplace, there’s a permanent staff who is way way way less capable than the contract staff and guess what, the useless dude still there. So I suppose your colleagues would be more willing to teach you stuff (in which they need your help). However, some people may not want to teach you so much because after all you may not stay for good, so ignorance is bound to exist as well.

6. Don’t forget to fill and submit your timesheet

Ah timesheet. Yes, you won’t be able to escape this additional admin task. But thankfully, mine’s only need to be completed on a monthly basis. And my salary does not really depend on whether my timesheet is approved or not. However, some contractors are only paid when their timesheets are approved by their boss. So I think it’s very important to check how the salary arrangement is with the recruitment agency.

Nobody like to be treated like a piece of shit of a piece of paper bag (like in Katy Perry's song), being thrown away after that particular somebody has no need of you anymore. I used to like a guy which is a fellow INFP, he was kinda stringing me around even though I 100% know that he knows that I like him. He texted me everyday and he did not bother to tone down his flirty-ness level in the message. In addition, we dated for a few times and yet, he did not make a real move to make the relationship official. I thought he was talking his careful consideration. But toward the end, it turns out he was just waiting for a better deal to come around. Once he found someone else to satisfy his love needs, he asked that person out and totally ditched me.

In summary, an asshole.

5 Ways for an INFP Girl to Move On from Being Treated Like Shit

It kinda threw me off because if you only know him by one glance, you will not be able to tell he's that kind, being so active in the church and all. I guess at the end of the day, I was probably saved from future trouble because our relationship is gonna be so painful if he only shows his rotten self after we become official. Blessings do come in disguise, I suppose.

The thing is, I have invested so much time in this relationship (kindness level maximum being an INFP who love hard toward friends) and of course, being a normal human with normal heart, it stings when you are no longer even friends because the guy after all has no interest in keeping you even as a friend when he has no needs of you anymore. Geez. In times like this, being an INFP, I find that these are 5 best ways for an INFP girl to move on from being treated like shit by a guy:

1. Confront and cut off all contacts

Upon finding out his change in attitude when he found a new love, I decided that I am ready not to continue texting and seeing him anymore. I figured it's easier to get closure to avoid "what if" scenario playing around in my head so I made an effort to confront him and ask if he's ever considering us being together. After knowing for clear that it was all along never in his mind (and yet he continues to flirt, asshole), I feel that I can cut him off better. Obviously since we probably still have to see each other occasionally, serving in the same church ministry and such, I think we can just be an acquintance and nothing more.

2. Delete all his pictures or whatever shits he text you before

While this may sound a tad childish, you don't want to randomly scroll your phone and find the old picture of him, and hence reminding you of all the rage from the shit that you have gotten from him. After all, nothing good can be gained from exposing yourself to toxic.

3. Talk talk talk to your support group

I hope you don't distance yourself from your girl/ guy friends when you are...uhh, pursuing potential. In times like these, your support group is really your BEST support. They will sympathize or even, empathize with you (by cursing him together, etc) since after all the problem is with him and not with you. My friends followed up with me the next day to check how am I doing and stuff and to be honest, I was very touched by their care. I made a mental note to treat each member of my support group better even in the event of chasing future love potential.

4. Keep yourself busy

By any means, because your mind may be your biggest source of torture in this kind of adverse situation. Pursue your career, learn new stuff, go exercise, go meet friends, read book, or even google some forum when a lot of people sharing their same situation which occurred to them and see how they dealt with this issue.

5. Pamper and love yourself

It's time to pamper and love yourself the most because if you can't love yourself, well the only other person who will love you is Jesus. So at least, not all hope is lost, you are still loved by someone. Since I am a believer, I do find some encouragement from listening to sermon video at youtube. Listening to encouraging songs may help too but please avoid those sappy songs which make you falling into utter despair.

Hmm, actually I think all of the above may help not only an INFP girl but other type of MBTI personalities too. Hope you can move on with your life soon. After all, these jerks are not worth our emotion. Really.